PODCASTS

Project Recovery: Discovering your clean self

May 10, 2019, 1:36 PM | Updated: 4:04 pm
Project Recovery....
Comedian Andy Gold, shares his story on Project Recovery, a new podcast hosted by Casey Scott and Dr. Matt Woolley.

There is nothing funny about recovery.

For podcast co-host Casey Scott, his humor got in the way of his recovery.

“I relied on humor as a crutch, to get me out of a lot of situations,” Scott says.

In his first therapy session in recovery at the Pinnacle Recovery Center, he was told it was not a joking time.

Scott realized that, for him, joking is how he avoided dealing with his own feelings.

Golden humor

Humor can be useful part of recovery, as it was for stand-up comedian Andy Gold.

Gold has performed his comedy across the country, from San Diego to Boston.

He is a frequent speaker at recovery centers.

He is a former heroin addict. Opiates, cocaine, and other drugs took him away from a healthy life.

His drug use began early in life, becoming part of his identity.

He got into drugs by getting into the party life in his teens.

By the end of his senior year of high school, he knew had a drug problem.

He took so much that his drug dealer was worried about how much he was taking.

Identity drugs

Gold says he started into drugs for a reason that is common for many drug users.

“I think like a lot of addicts it stems from kinda feeling like an outsider somehow,” Gold says.

He did not do particularly well in school. He says he didn’t fit in at church or with his family.

“In retrospect, I was kind of turning to whatever kind of outlandish behavior I could to get kind of acceptance, validation, even if it was destructive and to my own peril,” Gold says.

Dr. Matt Woolley uses the psychological term “identity development” to label what Gold describes.

Woolley says kids try on personalities like jackets, to try to see what fits.

For someone like Gold who didn’t find a fit with family, school, or church, a person find an identity by taking drugs, by partying.

Gold says a drug-based identity is a deadly identity.

That is likely why his drug dealer called to see if he was okay, Gold says.

A heavy price

Losing friends and family to drugs is a part of drug addict’s life, Gold says.

Gold says his sister died of drug overdose, dying on a drug he introduced her to.

The loss of a brother and sister to drugs propelled Gold’s feelings of worthlessness and accelerated his addiction.

“It’s so toxic, because I thought I didn’t deserve forgiveness, even self-forgiveness. I thought I wasn’t worthy of that. I haven’t done anything to earn feeling good about myself. Everything I have done, I should feel awful about myself,” Gold says.

He says that learning to forgive himself was the toughest part of his recovery.

A new identity

Gold says he started the road to recovery when he was in the ICU after an overdose.

Many people came to visit him, including people he had stolen from, manipulated, or otherwise treated badly.

He says they didn’t think of him as a “despicable junkie.” They just wanted him to get better.

“I went right from the hospital to treatment,” Gold says.

When Gold got clean he started to notice the things he does when he is clean.

It was a slow process to learn who he was off drugs.

As an addict, Gold says he was liar, a thief, and a manipulator.

Gold started to observe that when he is clean he is honest and he doesn’t hurt people for his own gain.

His clean identity was not based on a story he told his family or friends. It was what he was really doing.

“And the reason that was really comforting and helpful to me is because that was objective. That was actual the reality,” Gold says.

 

Comedian/Recovering Heroin Addict Andy Gold: PART ONE

Comedian/Recovering Heroin Addict Andy Gold: PART TWO

 

Resources for those suffering from addiction

Download Project Recovery Podcast

Project Recovery - Apple Podcasts  Project Recovery - Google Play

 

Today’s Top Stories

Podcasts

Ron and Sy Snarr, of Salt Lake City, talk on Friday, Aug. 19, 2022, about how they forgave Jorge Be...
Amy Donaldson

“The Letter” – After the murder of Zachary Snarr, a family tries to rebuild

A family realizes that returning to a sense of normalcy after the death of Zachary Snarr is a complicated and lonely road.
4 days ago
death Benvenuto The Letter Yvette Rodier Zach Snarr...
Amy Donaldson

“The Letter” – A Utah family weighs the death penalty

How the definition of justice changed for the family and friends who lost 18-year-old Zachary Snarr to a murderer.
10 days ago
The Letter Jorge Benvenuto Zachary Snarr Utah...
Amy Donaldson

“The Letter” – What suspected killer Jorge Benvenuto said about the girl who survived

Detectives said 19-year-old Jorge Benvenuto was trying to build the courage to kill himself before he came upon two kids at Little Dell Reservoir.
18 days ago
Pinocchio (voiced by Benjamin Evan Ainsworth) in Disney's live-action PINOCCHIO, exclusively on Dis...
KellieAnn Halvorsen

FAN EFFECT REVIEW: Disney’s latest version of ‘Pinocchio’ is a nostalgic dose of CGI magic

"Pinocchio" gives a modern touch to the animated classic with CGI-infused magic, a handful of updated plot points, and a diversity of players.
23 days ago
Midterm Elections...
Jeff Caplan

100 Days until midterm elections

The midterm elections are only 100 days away! Many have been predicting a red wave this fall, but what do the polls show, and is it too soon to tell?
2 months ago
Buttigieg infrastructure...
Heather Kelly

Secretary Buttigieg discusses how the infrastructure bill will help Utah

Buttigieg said that the infrastructure bill allots $12 million for Utah in fiscal 2022 and up to $65 million over the next five years.
2 months ago

Sponsored Articles

Young woman receiving laser treatment...
Form Derm Spa

How facial plastic surgery and skincare are joining forces

Facial plastic surgery is not only about looking good but about feeling good too. The medical team at Form Spa are trained to help you reach your aesthetic outcomes through surgery and through skincare and dermatology, too.
large group of friends tohether in a park having fun...
BYU MBA at the Marriott School of Business

What differentiates BYU’s MBA program from other MBA programs

Commitment to service is at the heart of BYU’s MBA program, which makes it stand out among other MBA programs across the country.
a worker with a drill in an orange helmet installs a door in the house...
Price's Guaranteed Doors

Home improvement tip: Increase the value of your home by weatherproofing doors

Make sure your home is comfortable before the winter! Seasonal maintenance keeps your home up to date. Read our tips on weatherproofing doors.
Curb Appeal...
Price's Guaranteed Doors

How to have the best of both worlds for your house | Home security and curb appeal

Protect your home and improve its curb appeal with the latest security solutions like beautiful garage doors and increased security systems.
A paper reading IRS, internal revenue service is pictured...
Jordan Wilcox

The best strategies for dealing with IRS tax harassment | You have options!

Learn how to deal with IRS tax harassment. This guide will teach you how to stop IRS phone calls and letters, and how to handle an IRS audit.
spend a day at Bear Lake...
Bear Lake Convention and Visitors Bureau

You’ll love spending the day at Bear Lake | How to spend a day at Bear Lake

Bear Lake is a place that needs to be experienced. Spend a day at Bear Lake.
Project Recovery: Discovering your clean self