Shrek Crocs are no longer a dream

(CNN) — In the distant future, archaeologists will happen upon a Shrek Croc, its soft vinyl unsullied by the ages, and they will have questions.

Why was the 2001 animated film about an ogre so popular that it warranted a special shoe? What was the purpose of this odd foam footwear; some sort of low-impact clogging ritual?

Is that … a nose?!

Crocs, the brand behind everyone’s favorite unapologetically ugly shoe, has collaborated with DreamWorks to craft an extremely important cultural artifact: The Shrek Croc. (And of course, as Shrek would argue, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.)

Green, freckled, and just a little scary, the Shrek Croc (or Shroc, if you will) has long been a dream for some Croc lovers. This is not a joke. There actually is a 2018 Change.org petition floating around to “Make Shrek Crocs Real.” The good people at Crocs know what’s up too: In the run-up to the shoe’s launch on September 13, the official Croc X account retweeted 20 identical messages from an account called “Shrek Crocs,” all reading “Make Shrek Crocs real.”

“The wait is over for the most wonderfully hideous Classic Clogs,” the shoe’s description reads. “An ode to your favorite ogre, each pair features Shrek’s iconic nose, ears, and green speckled skin bringing this beloved character to life.”

Adult Shrocs are available for $59.99. There are also kids’ and toddlers’ versions, as well as Shrek-themed shoe charms, called Jibbitz.

Rare is the brand that has not been blessed with some sort of Crocs collaboration. Margaritaville Crocs, complete with ice cubes, a lime wedge and that lost shaker of salt, kicked up quite a frenzy when they were first released in 2022. There are Pop Tarts Crocs (Croc-Tarts), Lisa Frank Crocs, Barbie Crocs, Crocs with fanny packs and even scented Crocs Jibbitz — a combination of words commanding almost as much dark energy as “Shrek Crocs.”

Most reactions to the Shrek Crocs fall into one of two categories: “I need them immediately,” or “If you wear these in public I will perform a citizen’s arrest.” If your thoughts lean toward the former, you may want to hurry. Within 24 hours of their release, several sizes of the shoe had sold out on the Crocs website.

Perhaps there is much more to say about the timeless, inexplicable appeal of both Shrek and Crocs, and why this particular combination strikes directly in the kidneys of our shared cultural body. Surely, there is a cogent explanation for how we got here, contemplating whether to shell out $60 for shoes with ears. These are mysteries best left to time. Today, we live. Today, we Shroc.

Other reading:

• Utah has the biggest sweet tooth in US
• Post Malone is donating 10,000 of his sold out Crocs to frontline workers