Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: I will now translate Kid Slang

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SALT LAKE CITY — If you think that in this country the language is English, you haven’t been talking to your kids. 

It’s been about five years since I’ve done a Minute about the slang kids throw around and I want to understand and be able to translate. But five years on, it’s a new brood of kids – completely different expressions — and talking to my granddaughter I feel like an Albanian arriving at Ellis Island.

For instance, do you know what this means?

“Not that Ohio skibidi rizz. Eh.”

This is a 10-year-old from North Carolina speaking in her native tongue.  

First of all, Ohio — to a preteen — is not a state. It means someone or thing is dumb and stupid. Sorry, Cleveland.

Skibidi is a very common word that really doesn’t mean anything. It can be a conversation starter. It’s like the word “dude.” Which can mean “DUDE,” or it can mean “dude.” 

Skibidi is also an adjective often used in the expression “skibidi toilet.” I’m not kidding. “Skibidi toilet” comes from a Turkish guy who posted a meme of a head popping out of a toilet.

The definition is a moving target. Good luck with skibidi. If you’re a parent, however, you use it, you’re wrong. Thems the rules.

Sigma means top-notch. It’s sort of the way I might call someone an Alpha. If someone’s a sigma rizzler, they’re a charismatic leader.

I’m still confused over the word Gyacht. Like a fancy boat, a yacht, with a “G” in front of it. Gyacht means DANNNNG! What a teen boy might say when he’s talking about a beautiful girl. But be careful, my granddaughter tells me Gyacht means big butt.

I’m not sure if my granddaughter is pranking me about the big-butt thing because the most important part about teen slang is that grownups don’t understand it. 

You try to talk like this, it’s Ohio skibidi toilet. And no. I have no idea what I’m saying.

Jeff Caplan is the host of Jeff Caplan’s Afternoon News on KSL NewsRadio. Follow him on Facebook and X. 

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