DAVE & DUJANOVIC

More women are outearning their husbands than ever – but we aren’t willing to talk about it

May 9, 2019, 3:11 PM | Updated: 4:30 pm

Wives and husbands...

38 percent of women now outearn their husbands. (Photo: Pexels)

(Photo: Pexels)

More women are the breadwinners in their families than ever before — but couples still aren’t too happy about admitting it.

That’s the clear conclusion of years of data from the U.S. Census Bureau and the Bureau of Labor Statistics: that as much improvement as we’ve been making toward financial equality, the American mindset is still stuck in an older era.

In most cases, men and women both will actively try to hide their earnings gap, and the overall quality of happiness in the marriage will tumble.

The old social norm that the man is supposed to be the breadwinner, it seems, is still alive and well, and, in a world where women are gradually coming closer to achieving equal pay, it affects the way couples see both themselves and each other.

By the numbers

Here’s how having a wife outearn a husband affects a relationship, broken down by the numbers, sourced from Five-Thirty Eight and the U.S. Census Bureau.

  • 38 percent of wives outearn their husbands
  • Men who earn less than their wives are 5 times more likely to cheat
  • Couples are 6 percent more likely to have discussed divorce when woman outearn men
  • Men exaggerate their salaries by 2.9 percent when they earn less than their wives
  • Women deflate their salaries by 1.5 percent when they earn more than their husbands

Clearly, things get a lot worse when a wife gets that promotion that puts her a paygrade above her husband — but the source of all that strife isn’t what you might expect.

According to writer Liza Mundy, it’s actually the wives that struggle the hardest with breaking gender roles.

“I found some men felt threatened by their partners’ high-earning status and retaliated against it, but mainly it was women who were having problems coming to terms with the situation,” Mundy told the Telegraph.

These women struggle with the pressure of being responsible for their family’s welfares and having to take on the stress of work and often become frustrated if they feel like their husbands aren’t carrying their end. And usually, the imbalance doesn’t get corrected at the home.

According to a University of Queensland study, women who outearn their husbands actually take on more housework than those who don’t.

That can affect a lot about how they perceive their husbands. So much so, that some of Mundy’s interviewees reported feeling less attracted to their husbands, as well, and talked about struggling with seeing the men as less masculine.

All the stress that comes with breaking those gender norms can leave women feeling frustrated, and that can lead to disputes that leave the whole family unhappy.

What do you do about it?

So what do you do if your wife earns more than you do?

KSL Newsradio’s Dave & Dujanovic tackled that question, and they offered two simple solutions: just remember that, when you’re married, you’re on the same team. As host Dave Noriega puts it: “Her win is my win.”

Hear all of their advice on the Payday Monday podcast.

Dave & Dujanovic can be heard weekdays from 9 a.m. to noon on KSL Newsradio. Users can find the show on the KSL Newsradio website and app, as well as Apple Podcasts and Google Play.

affordable care act

We want to hear from you.

Have a story idea or tip? Send it to the KSL NewsRadio team here.

Dave & Dujanovic

pets...

Curt Gresseth

Don’t surrender pets to a shelter. Send in a pro to reverse bad behavior, says Utah trainer

An expert discusses controlling the unwanted behavior of pets.

6 hours ago

Exclusive video obtained by KSL NewsRadio shows Salt Lake hit-and-run in the Avenues neighborhood. ...

Eric Cabrera

WATCH: Exclusive video shows woman survives Salt Lake City hit and run

KSL NewsRadio has exclusively obtained footage of a Salt Lake City hit-and-run, where a woman was struck while out for a run in the Avenues.

6 hours ago

1040 form shown, tax refund season is here...

Sam Herrera

Should you spend or save your tax refund?

Filing your taxes can be a headache but figuring out how to spend your tax refund might be a headache in its own right.

1 day ago

A woman in SLC was a victim of a hit-and-run on March 11....

KSL NewsRadio

S.L. County DA says driver in hit-and-run crashes stalked victims

The Salt Lake County district attorney said the driver allegedly involved in a series of hit-and-run crashes intentionally targeted his female victims

2 days ago

The icon for the video sharing TikTok app is seen on a smartphone, Feb. 28, 2023, in Marple Townshi...

Curt Gresseth

Utah mom fears loss of followers and income if TikTok sold

A Utah TikTok creator talks about what banning the app in the U.S. would do to her family's primary source of income.

6 days ago

Join KSL NewsRadio live from Salt Lake County Animal Services on March 28, 2024, from 9 a.m. to 12 ...

Emily Ashmead

Tails of Hope: KSL NewsRadio live from Salt Lake County Animal Services

This special broadcast of Dave & Dujanovic will cover what changes will be made to Utah animal shelters to accommodate the newest regulations.

7 days ago

Sponsored Articles

Mother and cute toddler child in a little fancy wooden cottage, reading a book, drinking tea and en...

Visit Bear Lake

How to find the best winter lodging in Bear Lake, Utah

Winter lodging in Bear Lake can be more limited than in the summer, but with some careful planning you can easily book your next winter trip.

Happy family in winter clothing at the ski resort, winter time, watching at mountains in front of t...

Visit Bear Lake

Ski more for less: Affordable ski resorts near Bear Lake, Utah

Plan your perfect ski getaway in Bear Lake this winter, with pristine slopes, affordable tickets, and breathtaking scenery.

front of the Butch Cassidy museum with a man in a cowboy hat standing in the doorway...

Bear Lake Convention and Visitors Bureau

Looking Back: The History of Bear Lake

The history of Bear Lake is full of fascinating stories. At over 250,000 years old, the lake has seen generations of people visit its shores.

silhouette of a family looking over a lake with a bird in the top corner flying...

Bear Lake Convention and Visitors Bureau

8 Fun Activities To Do in Bear Lake Without Getting in the Water

Bear Lake offers plenty of activities for the whole family to enjoy without having to get in the water. Catch 8 of our favorite activities.

Wellsville Mountains in the spring with a pond in the foreground...

Wasatch Property Management

Advantages of Renting Over Owning a Home

Renting allows you to enjoy luxury amenities and low maintenance without the long-term commitment and responsibilities of owning a home.

Clouds over a red rock vista in Hurricane, Utah...

Wasatch Property Management

Why Southern Utah is a Retirement Paradise

Retirement in southern Utah offers plenty of cultural and recreational opportunities. Find out all that this region has to offer.

More women are outearning their husbands than ever – but we aren’t willing to talk about it