On Sunday, while you’re scooping up a seven-layer dip, 100 men will go into battle using all the strength and skill and cunning they can muster hoping to win what Vladimir Putin already has. The most coveted piece of sports jewelry in the world — a shimmering Super Bowl Ring.

Last year’s ring featured 340 diamonds and a first-of-its-kind flip-off top that revealed a gold replica of the stadium on the inside.

Now that is bling! But that’s not the one Putin pilfered.

As the story goes, Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots met Putin in Russia at a conference. Somebody suggested ‘show him the ring.’ And Kraft did! He took off this giant glittering 5 karat ring from the 2005 Super Bowl. Then Putin slipped it on, and as Kraft tells the story the Russian President said “I could kill someone with this ring.”

To which Kraft said, “you could kill someone without it. You were the head of the KGB.” Putin then slips the ring in his pocket and walks off.

Kraft starts to chase him, but guards blocked his path.

The ring was gone. The Bush administration begged Kraft to say it was a gift. You know, to keep things peaceful. It took eight years for Kraft to admit what really happened.

That coveted ring is now on display in the Kremlin Library. And as the kleptomaniacal Russian president considers pushing Europe toward war and plundering a much bigger prize, let’s just say it helps to know your enemy. To know what he’s made of. What he stands for.

They say Super Bowl rings tell a story, but this ring actually tells two. One, of a Patriots’ win. And two, a bleak story of an unprincipled man. who takes what he wants.

And Ukraine could be his next shiny bauble.

Other reading:

• Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: The fake Beijing Olympic Games
• Astronaut wings being phased out, “too many people going to space” says FAA
• My Minute of News: I want to break up with my phone, but how?!

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