KSL Movie Show review: ‘Lonely Planet’ is a rom-bomb

Editor’s note: This is an editorial piece. An editorial, like a news article, is based on fact but also shares opinions. The opinions expressed here are solely those of the author and are not associated with our newsroom.

SALT LAKE CITY — Laura Dern has always been one of my favorite actresses (I guess we’re calling them actors now).  She has been in some of my favorite movies, i.e. “Jurassic Park,” “October Sky,” and “Marriage Story” where she won a best supporting Oscar.

However, somebody got into her head and told her the real money is in goofy, romantic movies ala . . . let’s just call them Calldark films . . . where you barely have to act. In fact, you can do them in your sleep.

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To sweeten the pot, the producers promise a Hemsworth!  Well … Chris is too expensive, how about a Liam?  He’s pretty enough, right?

A writer’s retreat, a busy venture capitalist

Okay Laura, so we’re going to send you to exotic Morocco, for a writer’s retreat (oh by the way, you are a best-selling author). But you’ll be so aloof that you won’t even bother introducing yourself to the event’s host because you are too busy finishing your latest opus extravigantus.

Rude. 

So how do we get Mr. Hemsworth involved?

Well, he can’t be an author too, but he could be the disgruntled boyfriend of a novelist newbie who is thrilled to hang out with other snobby scribes. 

His job will be as a venture capitalist who has discovered a new coal field in West Virginia (are we still doing that?). He’ll get a number of annoying investor phone calls and texts from the States, so he can disappear for stretches to the frustration of his snotty girlfriend.

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Now thrown together as the two outliers, Katherine (Dern) and Owen (Hemsworth) will begin to spend time exploring the local village and herding goats. Ahhh, meet cute.  Bratty girlfriend Lily goes off into the Sahara with the other literary Bohemians, leading to the best line in the movie. When Owen asks Katherine why she isn’t going as well, she responds, “I’ve seen the desert.  I doubt it’s changed much.” 

Ohhh. 

So while Katherine and Owen get more chummy, the least offensive aspect of this rom-bomb is the age difference.  Older guys have been doing this bit for decades, why not allow the ladies the same privilege? 

Yes, I checked. Laura is 23 years older than Liam, but so what?  Sometimes, love finds a way no matter how many tree rings are involved. 

‘Lonely Planet’ resolution is beyond the pale

Yet, it always comes down to the last 30 minutes of a film.  Do the cast and crew stick the landing in a satisfying manner?  No, they do not.  The contrivance isn’t even remotely shy. 

The resolution is beyond the pale and I am left stunned that the iconic Laura Dern would agree to make such a cheeseball of a movie called, of all things, “Lonely Planet?”  Who came up with that ridiculous, nondescript title? 

On second thought, I don’t really care. 

Lonely Planet (C-) Rated R for language, some sexual content and brief nudity. Starring Laura Dern, Liam Hemsworth, Diana Silvers, Younes Boucif and Rachida Brakni. Written and directed by Susannah Grant (writer of “Erin Brockovich” “Charlotte’s Web”) – filmed in Marrakech, Morocco. Running time: 94 minutes.  NETFLIX exclusive. 

The KSL Movie Show with Andy Farnsworth and Steve Salles airs Fridays on KSL NewsRadio from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Follow the show on Facebook, and join The KSL Movie Show Club for exclusive perks by texting MOVIE to 57500. Message and data rates may apply. Text STOP to cancel. Message frequency varies.