Dating at Her Age: Dear Younger Me

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SALT LAKE CITY — Hindsight really is 20/20. Sometimes it takes a few years to really learn from a mistake, especially in dating. And hopefully that mistake doesn’t also leave you with regret in your dating life. 

Related: Real human connection feels unnatural.

In a Woman’s Day and AOL Living survey from 2009 57% out of 35,000 women regret marrying their husband, but are still in it for the long haul. 72% had considered leaving at some point. 

So, there’s a lot one could tell one’s past self, maybe it’s “break up with him and travel more” or maybe it’s just “you are going to be okay.” What you would say? 

Hosts of the podcast Dating at Her Age, Caitlyn and Debbie asked themselves this question. Here are a few of their answers.

Caitlyn

Caitlyn, now 27, would tell her high school self that it’s totally okay to be a little socially awkward. Growing up she never felt like she talked to as many boys as her friends.

“It wasn’t as natural to me I guess. And I just think that it’s okay,” Caitlyn said.

She would also reassure her younger self that not having a significant other doesn’t reflect on your value.

“Eventually what is meant for you will come to you, but it does not have to be focused around a significant other and you’re not insignificant for not having it. So, I think the biggest messages for my younger self is, ‘you’re not lesser and it’s okay,'” she said.

Debbie

One of the first things Debbie would tell her younger self would be to get out of her home town and chase opportunities. 

When starting her journalism career Debbie made the big move from Phoenix to Salt Lake City.

“Believe it or not, even though it’s only 642 miles away from Salt Lake City it was a scary step for me. I was really young. I didn’t have any money to move up here, I was in debt up to my eyeballs … but I think what it also does is it opens the door to meet unique men,” Debbie said.

She would also tell herself to drop the cultural and parental pressure to get married. 

“I felt a very big weight on me. Some of that was self-induced. Part of it was external,” she said. “A lot of my friends were getting married, right out of high school as yours did and having children, and I was bound for college.”

She found that trying to go to school, work and date stretched her a little thin. 

“It just I felt like I was so busy with one thing but then I’m trying to tackle this other thing and there was just not enough of me to go around and make great decisions,” she said.

A lot can happen in a year, and Caitlyn and Debbie are sure they will continue to learn. 

You can listen to the full podcasts here.

Diana Jones is a digital content producer for KSL NewsRadio.