The decline of third places may be contributing to kids’ loneliness
Nov 13, 2024, 6:00 PM
People attend the grand opening of the Salt Lake County Library’s Granite branch in South Salt Lake on Friday, July 15, 2022. (Laura Seitz/Deseret News)
(Laura Seitz/Deseret News)
SALT LAKE CITY — Over a year after the U.S. surgeon general announced a loneliness epidemic in 2023, the decline of third places in the county may be contributing to feelings of isolation.
A third place offers space for people to get together and connect outside of home or school/work.
“A third place really needs to be this neutral common ground and it needs to be accessible. It needs to allow for a kind of larger space for community gathering,” said Jessica Mertlich, a licensed clinical social worker serving the Granite School District and the Catholic Diocese.
For kids, a third place should offer a little independence from adults, Mertlich said.
She spoke to Dave & Dujanovic about helping kids fight loneliness during a time when third places are hard to find.
Barriers to finding third places
Mertlich said she hears about kids’ struggles with loneliness on an almost daily basis.
“I have kids who are lamenting these feelings of loneliness, or lack of connection. And yet, they can’t quite figure out how to problem solve this. And to be fair, once I start taking them through these problem-solving steps, I see why there’s a struggle.”
Mertlich said kids often have barriers to third places like not having enough time after school and not having anywhere within walking distance to go.
“All those combinations are really creating this burden for kids who are already feeling lonely and overwhelmed to then have to go that extra step where they don’t really know how to seek that independent connection with others.”
Mertlich said it’s important that once a kid does have somewhere to go, there be opportunities to find a connection.
She said it requires effort from a community to provide those opportunities, especially so that parents can feel comfortable letting their kids go to those places.
How to deal with your child’s loneliness as a parent
Mertlich advised parents to ask their kids direct questions about how they’re feeling in order to open a conversation about loneliness.
She said a child may not open up at first but asking direct questions increases the likelihood of that conversation happening.
Parents can also take steps to foster their child’s independence.
Mertlich said that parents often take it upon themselves to plan things for their kids. However, there are other ways of approaching the issue to allow your kids a sense of independence.
Parents can ask open-ended questions like ‘What do you like to do’ and ‘What are your interests?’ to get an idea of what their kids may want to do.
“Feeding them these ideas where they kind of create their own sense of buy-in, I think is going to make the biggest difference,” Mertlich said.
