Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: SLC’s top five Spotify songs are also the five stages of grief

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SALT LAKE CITY — Spotify has released its list of the top songs of the year for Salt Lake City… and I gotta tell you. Judging by the top five songs we’re streaming, Utah must be absolutely miserable. 

Four of the top five are break-up songs. Some of them are dirges and some are upbeat, but it strikes me that our top five songs of 2023 are about the five stages of grief.

Let’s begin with Northern Utah’s number-one song: Last Night by Morgan Wallen. It’s about a drunken couple fighting, Wallen croons about the fight while in denial that the relationship is over.

Next on the grief list is anger. In our second song, SZA sings about murdering her ex in Kill Bill.

Anger is followed by bargaining, as performed in Salt Lake’s 5th favorite, Something in the Orange. Zach Bryan is betting she’ll come back because the orange sunset reminds him of her.

Last on the stages of grief is Miley Cyrus, with Utah’s fourth song. It’s about acceptance and is called Flowers.

Looking at our miserable top five songs of the year, the only one with a positive message is this one’s about a guy hoping he can win the heart of the girl who’s dancing alone. If you want hopeful, better learn Spanish.

El Baila Sola is the only song in Salt Lake’s Top Five that isn’t about getting dumped.

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Listen to Jeff Caplan’s Afternoon News every weekday from 3 to 7 p.m. for more of his “My Minute of News.”