BYU’s Sitake, Utah’s Scalley continue calls for softer, gentler rivalry based on ‘mutual respect’

PROVO — BYU head coach Kalani Sitake and Utah’s Morgan Scalley are very different when it comes to the state’s biggest rivalry.

Scalley, a former Highland High football and rugby star, is as much of a “Utah Man” today as he was when he was an All-American safety at the U. Sitake played fullback for legendary BYU coach LaVell Edwards, and spent a decade coaching in Salt Lake City before returning to his alma mater 11 years ago.

But on at least one thing, the two former defensive coordinators of ex-Utah head coach Kyle Whittingham are in total agreement.

“I think the Utah-BYU rivalry is one of the best in the country, honestly,” Scalley told reporters in his first trip to The Star in Frisco, Texas, for Big 12 football media days as a head coach. “I have so much respect for Kalani and his staff. A lot of his staff I’ve worked with. But it’s definitely mutual respect.”

Sitake, who coached linebackers at Utah before coordinating the Utes’ defense and eventually earning the title of assistant head coach from 2009-14 two years before beginning his decade as head coach of his alma mater, agreed with his counterpart on the Hill — and then some.

“Morgan Scalley is a good friend of mine,” he said. “We worked together for a decade at Utah when I was coaching there. I was great friends with Kyle Whittingham, too.

“Kyle Whittingham leaves, and another great friend of mine is the head coach at Utah. Nothing has really changed there.”

BYU stopped a nine-game losing skid in 2021, the first of three-straight wins in the series that included a 24-21 victory last fall in Provo. The two are scheduled to meet again Nov. 7 at Rice-Eccles Stadium.

Many on both sides of the rivalry spent the past decade calling for a softer, gentler tone to the series that Utah leads either 62-37-4 or 59-34-4 all-time — depending on who you ask (yes, the rivalry is so heated that neither team can agree how many times they’ve played).

But recent years have also been burdened by examples of the ugly side of the series.

A North Salt Lake man was arrested and charged with misdemeanor aggravated assault two years ago after police say he threw a water bottle on the field and struck a BYU cheer coach after the Utes’ last-minute 22-21 loss to the Cougars.

One year later, an Emery County man was arrested and booked into jail after making threats of violence on social media, where he reportedly posted several comments that included “anyone wearing red on Saturday is getting shot” before the annual rivalry tilt.

Both coaches have attempted to distance their programs from the harsh — and occasionally toxic — rhetoric that has accompanied the century-old series before.

“You’re always going to have the extremes,” Scalley said. “That’s the unfortunate part, is you’re going to have those extremes where people are doing stuff that you’re not proud about.

“I just think the way Kalani and I model our relationship with one another and the respect we have for each other and our programs should lead the way, hopefully leads the way.”

The rivalry has drawn attention, often, for the way it unifies — and at times divides — families. But even in that, the head coaches are an example. Scalley has a daughter who recently enrolled at BYU, and Sitake has had several family members graduate from the University of Utah.

Several players have similar experiences, both with family members and themselves. Keanu Tanuvasa started 19 of 24 games on Utah’s defensive line before transferring to BYU last season, where he totaled 25 tackles, 4.5 tackles for loss and two sacks en route to All-Big 12 honorable mention honors.

The fifth-year senior was vilified by portions of the Utes’ fanbase; characterizations that he says he understands, due to the nature of the rivalry. But he still maintains several friendships in Salt Lake City, and was excited that a year after his transfer, the talk between him and Utah remained on the field.

“I think it’s going to be a little surreal (going back). Utah was home for more than 20 games in that stadium,” he said. “I’m hoping Utah is who they have always been: a violent place, and a place filled with energy and enthusiasm. I’m looking forward to going in there. I know it will be very competitive, and a little hostile. But I’m looking forward to that as a BYU player.”

Those are the kinds of things Sitake prefers to celebrate from both schools: good people on both sides, whether they cheer for the team in blue or the one in red.

“There are so many positive things that are going around on both sides,” he said. “I think we celebrate some of the really cool things that are happening with the rivalry game.

“The respect level and the love, I don’t know if there’s going to be anything different,” Sitake added. “We’ve always respected and loved our rivals. I think they feel the same way about us. I know; I was there. I think that’s what makes it even more fun.”