After Amber Alert recovery, Utah expert explains how toddlers process stress and fear

SALT LAKE CITY — After two young Saratoga Springs boys at the center of an Amber Alert were safely found in Mexico, a Utah child development expert said situations involving fear, disruption or separation can still affect children, even when they are too young to explain what they feel.

Malinda Freitag, senior clinical director at The Children’s Center Utah, said she cannot speak specifically about the boys in this case. But she said infants and toddlers can experience stress, distress and trauma.

“Very young children under two years of age definitely feel stressors,” Freitag said. “They can experience trauma. They can experience stress and distress, particularly when it involves disruptions in their routine, scary noises, pain to their bodies or separations from caregivers.”

The boys, both less than 2 years old, were safely located Tuesday night in San Felipe, Mexico, according to Saratoga Springs police. Their father, Dane Stephen Richman, was taken into custody. Police said he has been charged in 4th District Court with two counts of custodial interference.

Trauma in toddlers

Freitag said one common misconception is that babies and toddlers are too young to be affected by traumatic events.

“It is a misconception,” she said. “They don’t have the language to process what they’re seeing or hearing or experiencing. But they do have all the same feelings that you or I would have when faced with a trauma or a big stressor.”

She said young children may show stress differently than older children. Infants may cry more, flail their arms or legs, or have trouble calming down. Toddlers may have bigger tantrums, become more aggressive or show changes in behavior.

Freitag said the most important people in a young child’s life are their primary caregivers and loved ones. If the adults around them are stressed, infants and toddlers can feel that stress too.

After a major disruption, Freitag said children need connection, reassurance and routine.

She said they can help by offering comfort, play, patience and repeated reminders that the child is safe.

“Lots of soothing reassurance that the child is safe, that you’re there to help, that you can help them, that they’re going to be OK,” Freitag said.

Freitag said consistency is especially important for very young children because it helps them predict what comes next.

“When there’s a lack of routine or when things aren’t consistent, the world can feel really scary because we can’t predict it,” she said.

She said parents or caregivers who are concerned about a young child after a stressful event should reach out to their pediatrician or a mental health provider. The Children’s Center Utah also provides mental health services for children under age 6.

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Read more: Recognizing the early signs of mental health concerns in children

Help with Children

Those who feel stressed out with a child, who need a break or who feel like they need counseling or training can reach out to one of the following agencies:

• The Family Support Center has 15 locations throughout the state and offers a free crisis nursery for parents who have to keep appointments or who are stressed out. They also offer counseling and family mentoring. Call 801-955-9110 or visit familysupportcenter.org/contact.php for more information.
• Prevent Child Abuse Utah provides home visiting in Weber, Davis, and Box Elder counties. Parent Educators provide support, education, and activities for families with young children. Their statewide education team offers diverse trainings on protective factors, digital safety, bullying, and child sex trafficking. They are available for in-person or virtual trainings and offer free online courses for the community at pcautah.org.
• The Office of Home Visiting works with local agencies to provide home visits to pregnant women and young families who would like to know more about being parents. Home visitors are trained and can provide information about breastfeeding, developmental milestones, toilet training, nutrition, mental health, home safety, child development, and much more. Find out more at homevisiting.utah.gov.
• The Safe Haven law allows birth parents in Utah to safely and anonymously give up custody of their newborn child at any hospital in the state, with no legal consequences and no questions asked. The child’s mother can drop off the child, or the mother can ask someone else to do it for her. The newborns should be dropped off at hospitals that are open 24 hours a day. Newborns given up in this manner will be cared for by the hospital staff, and the Utah Division of Child and Family Services will find a home for the child. For more information, visit utahsafehaven.org or call the 24-hour hotline at 866-458-0058.