JEFF CAPLAN'S MY MINUTE OF NEWS
Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: The stranded astronauts have air, food, but something’s missing!
Aug 8, 2024, 7:30 PM | Updated: Aug 9, 2024, 11:05 am
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SALT LAKE CITY — Ever since the news about the stranded astronauts the other day, I kept thinking about that song. You know the one — by Bowie.
But wait, it’s the wrong version of the song. Blessings to David Bowie, but with two astronauts on a weeklong trip to the space station — now marooned, stranded, and unable to come home until next year — we need the Chris Hartfield version. He sang this while aboard the same space station 11 years ago. He floats weightless as he sings.
Chris Hatfield’s voice was a bit wistful because he’s living it.
The astronauts stuck in space had the bad luck to fly Boeing, and their ride home was a lemon. So while they said, “Bye honey back in a week,” they’ve been circling the globe for two months now. And the rescue ship won’t bring them home until 2025.
NASA is answering all the expected questions — except one. Yes, they’re happy. Yes, there’s enough food. But what about their clothes?
Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore went into space with just the clothes on their backs. It was supposed to be a week. They rocketed into the heavens without a suitcase. I checked.
They don’t do laundry in space. It’d take too much water. When you’re done with clothing, it gets incinerated. Typically, astronauts wear a shirt for a week and then burn it.
But these two voyagers will have to stick around with the same underwear for as long as six months. Endlessly circling the globe dreaming of family, a burger and a clean change of clothes.
Thanks, Boeing.
Jeff Caplan is the host of Jeff Caplan’s Afternoon News on KSL NewsRadio. Follow him on Facebook and X.
