JEFF CAPLAN'S MY MINUTE OF NEWS
Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: AWK-ward!
Nov 19, 2024, 9:00 PM
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SALT LAKE CITY — MLB named it’s National League Rookie of the Year yesterday, and ohhhh was it awkward. This is an instructional minute for all the young men listening.
The announcement was yesterday and I want to break down the film. Let’s start with the thrilling announcement from a baseball executive.
Paul Skenes is a tall and lanky pitcher who throws amazing 100 mile an hour pitches that twist, dip and beguile batters.
At age 22, he repeatedly struck out the best batters in the game. And he’s known for two other things.
First, his moustache. It’s a cookie duster. Not to judge, but the thing is like a snot mop. A bro boomerang that gives off a bit of a Mr. Creepy vibe.
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But aside from the soup strainer that sits under his nose, the other thing he’s famous for is is his celebrity girlfriend.
Who was sitting by his side on the living room couch when the announcement was made? Livvy Dunne, a beautiful college gymnast who’s the best-paid influencer in women’s sports. Quintessentially cute. Young men call her hot, and they’re sort of an odd couple. The guy with the push broom above his lip, and the All-American sweetheart.
So let’s go back to the tape.
The announcement is made. And at the Skenes residence, you hear the cheers. He sits there stoic and gives a subtle nod. Doesn’t even break a smile, while his cute as a cupcake superstar girlfriend shrieks and leans in for a kiss. And he nods at her. She backs away. She says congratulations and leans in a second time. The lightbulb goes off… Paul Skenes puts an arm on her shoulder … and turns away to give her a peck on the cheek.
The guy’s modest in front of the camera. I get it. But I know the conversation after the TV lights went off. So young men, if you’re ever dating the gorgeous and wealthiest influencer in women’s sports and she leans in for a kiss…
Kiss her. Or you’ll be apologizing ’til that mouth brow turns grey.
Jeff Caplan is the host of Jeff Caplan’s Afternoon News on KSL NewsRadio. Follow him on Facebook and X.
