JEFF CAPLAN'S MY MINUTE OF NEWS
Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: Matt Gaetz, Poster Child
Nov 20, 2024, 6:00 AM
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SALT LAKE CITY — What is going on with Matt Gaetz? I’m talking about his appearance.
The firebrand MAGA loyalist looks like Matt Gaetz wearing a Matt Gaetz mask. His eyebrows arch like a cartoon villain. His face appears to be filled with filler. While America debates his worthiness to serve as attorney general, at the same time, plastic surgeons are all over social media debating what did this man do to his head.
There’s no judgement here for the justice department nominee. I’ll allow after practicing law for a year, he might be eminently qualified to run the justice department.
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Til a week ago Mr. Gaetz was a Republican Congressman from the state of Botox. He resigned, and now Congress is trying to bury a report about his allegedly lurid behavior. But at the same time he’s rapidly becoming the poster child for plastic surgery gone wrong.
So this is the perfect moment to offer a warning about the dangers of plastic surgery.
Aside from the possibility you could end up looking like a Picasso with a nose on your forehead or an eyeball sticking out of your chin, I have a list of the three most dangerous plastic surgeries.
Third is the Brazilian butt lift, which I don’t think Mr. Gaetz has had. Second is the thigh lift, with complications in 78% of cases.
The most dangerous is changing your eye color, which involves a laser pigment removal, and an iris implantation. Complications occur 92% of the time.
And of course there’s the 50-50 danger of people asking “what’s up with his head,” because in any medical procedure always remember: at medical school, 50% of doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
Maybe as attorney general, Gaetz would investigate the plastic surgery industry. Maybe not.
Jeff Caplan is the host of Jeff Caplan’s Afternoon News on KSL NewsRadio. Follow him on Facebook and X.
