‘Masters of the Universe’: By the power of Grayskull — almost

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When “Masters of the Universe” was good, it was really great and exciting. Fun, energetic fight scenes, all of your favorite characters and toys from the cartoon up on the big screen. If you grew up with He-Man, there is a real joy in seeing that world brought to life at this scale. Mattel wins here — I definitely want all of my childhood He-Man toys back.

But there were moments where the film was not sure what it was supposed to be. I am perfectly fine with a movie being both dramatic and funny — epic and lighthearted at the same time. But if you are going to lean into a funnier version of this story, lean all the way in. Do not keep one foot in each world. Pick a lane and commit. The moments where the film did not take itself too seriously were some of the best moments in the movie. I needed more of that.

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The casting was smart. Nicholas Galitzine as Prince Adam, Camila Mendes as Teela, and Idris Elba as Man-At-Arms all bring something real to the screen. My wish is that the film had spent more time building the back stories of these characters so that I cared more about them when things got dangerous. There were touches of films like Thor and Guardians of the Galaxy throughout, and I am fine with that — those nods worked and felt earned rather than lazy.

Now let’s talk about Skeletor. Jared Leto gave the role his own flair and I think he did a good job. But I needed more. Specifically, I needed more of the cartoon personality — those awkward, whiny moments that made animated Skeletor so funny and so memorable. That is the cheese I needed. That is the personality that would have made this villain truly special on the big screen. Give me the dramatic Skeletor AND the petty, complaining Skeletor. Both can exist and both would have been perfect.

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The film could have been at least 15 minutes tighter, and I needed more dynamic music during the Grayskull fight. The score by Daniel Pemberton does its job throughout most of the film, but that climactic moment deserved something bigger and bolder.

One more thing — stay for the credits. All of them. There are three, yes three, credit and after-credit scenes. You have been warned.

And now I need to rant for a moment, and it has nothing to do with the film itself. People, we need to talk about theatre etiquette. The family sitting to my left was moving around, talking, and chewing popcorn louder than I have ever heard in my life. The couple on my right was doing a full play-by-play commentary of everything happening on screen. You are not at home. You are in a theatre with other people who paid good money to be there. Do better. I genuinely wonder if I would have enjoyed this film more without the live commentary happening on both sides of me. Come on, everyone.

“Masters of the Universe” (C+) Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence/action, some suggestive material, and language. Staring Nicholas Galitzine, Camila Mendes, Idris Elba, Jared Leto, Kristen Wiig, Alison Brie, James Purefoy, Morena Baccarin. Directed by Travis Knight. Written by Chris Butler, Aaron Nee, Adam Nee, David Callaham. Studio: Amazon MGM Studios/Mattel Films.

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