JEFF CAPLAN'S MINUTE OF NEWS

Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: Do bullies grow up to make more money?

Mar 29, 2024, 8:00 AM

Left: Actor Tom Wilson performs onstage in May 2005, (Frazer Harrison, Getty Images) Right: Crispin...

Left: Actor Tom Wilson performs onstage in May 2005, (Frazer Harrison, Getty Images) Right: Crispin Glover at a screening in December 2019 (Matt Winkelmeyer, Getty Images)

(Matt Winkelmeyer, Getty Images)

Editor’s note: This is an editorial piece. An editorial, like a news article, is based on fact but also shares opinions. The opinions expressed here are solely those of the author and are not associated with our newsroom.

SALT LAKE CITY — You can keep your Darth Vader and your Thanos.  For my nine bucks, the greatest villain in movie history is Biff. 

Biff Tannen from Back to the Future. If you remember this seminal moment in film history, this evil meathead is assaulting sweet sweet Lorraine and dares McFly to try and stop him. I love this part. McFly balls up his fist, summons all the courage he never had, and lets it fly — knocking Biff out thereby creating an alternate reality where Biff buffs the McFly family cars for a living… and scene.

Such a satisfying finish. That, there, is epic cinema. But real life doesn’t work that way. According to a new study from the University of Essex, schoolyard bullies grow up to make more money.

This study tracked 7000 people from age 10 through age 46. The ones that teachers identified as having problems with aggressive behavior and emotional instability went on to grow up and earn 4% more than everyone else.

It’s the most disconcerting thing. If you’re making $85,000… the kid who used to beat you up is probably making $88,500. The researchers theorize these evil meatheads take their aggressiveness into the workplace and snag that extra 4%. 

But, the Biffs of the world are also more likely to be arrested at some point in their lives. So which would you rather? Raise a McFly who ends up paying a 4% penalty for being a good kid? Or raise a Biff who assaults sweet Loraine but makes an extra 60 bucks a week?

I’m Team McFly. If you’re a Darth Vader fan or a Thanos groupie… I think we’re done here.

Jeff Caplan is the host of Jeff Caplan’s Afternoon News on KSL NewsRadio. Follow him on Facebook and X. 

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Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: Do bullies grow up to make more money?