Meet a male caregiver in Utah who is caring for his third parent

Nov 3, 2023, 7:00 AM | Updated: 9:42 am

Utahn Greg Mills is pictured with one of the three parents for whom he has acted as a male caregive...

Greg Mills is pictured with one of the three parents for whom he has acted as a male caregiver. (Greg Mills)

(Greg Mills)

SALT LAKE CITY — Greg Mills is a male caregiver in Utah, and he’s part of a growing demographic. According to some of the most recent information from the AARP, he’s one of the 18.7 million male caregivers across the United States.

In 2015, about 16 million men in America cared for aging parents and others. That number went up to 18.7 million in 2020.

“This is my third round,” he told KSL NewsRadio. “First we had my wife’s father. He had Lou Gehrig’s disease. We had to convert our bedroom for him to move in.

“That’s when I found that I was actually capable of doing things I didn’t think I would be capable of, like helping with the bathroom and stuff like that.,” Mills said.

His own father later moved into his basement after being diagnosed with leukemia.

“Then we found out my mom had dementia,” Mills continued. “I took her to her physician, and they did the clock test.”

Doctors use the clock test to screen for early dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. They ask patients to draw a clock, and people with dementia will draw the numbers backward or all on one side, even though they think it looks just like the clock on the wall.

Employment and the male caregiver

“When people start caretaking, they think this is no big deal,” Mills explained, “but it consumes your whole life. Your feelings and your thoughts. It becomes your life.”

He said he’d been blessed in recent times to have a daughter live with him. She worked remotely, so someone was always at home with his mother.

“Now she’s changing jobs and will be working outside the house,” Mills said. “Starting the first of the year, we don’t have anybody here. I’m trying to figure out if my wife retires, is there some type of government or state assistance that will help out? We don’t need much.”

Whether it’s a male or female caregiver, the stress of caring for an aging parent can be overwhelming.

“I work for a major corporation, and they’re all about taking care of their people,” Mills said. “When this came on with my mom, I started getting bad anxiety. I would throw up before going to work. I was just a mess.

“Finally, I told my boss I need to be doing just this job (because it’s low-key) until I can get my anxiety taken care of. He basically told me if I couldn’t handle the job, maybe I ought to find new employment.”

Mills was eventually able to get into a different department, and the support there was much better.

He described what he went through this way: “The depression comes in because of everything you’re going through and your mom’s going through.”

Support for male and female caregivers

“I just started going to a group for support,” Mills said, “and I’ve noticed that most of the caretakers are male instead of female. I was surprised by that, I don’t know why that is.”

Salt Lake County Aging and Adult Services offers the support group that Mills attends.

He said he was amazed by the group.

“Unbelievable! I had four major questions answered that I was struggling with. I was like, ‘Why did I not come to this before?'”

Mills said he felt relieved by the things he learned at the support group. He has a better understanding of why his mother does what she does.

Does this caretaker ever feel resentment because he has to give up so much to care for the people he loves?

“As I look back on the people I’ve cared for,” Mills answered, “No, but when you’re in the midst of it, yes. You lose out on your personal time. People at work ask why I don’t have anyone over for a barbecue, and they just don’t understand the time it takes. There is everything mom needs, and then my stuff. I have time to decompress for a minute, and then it’s back to work.

Keep reading: Across the U.S. and in Utah, dementia on the rise in adults

We want to hear from you.

Have a story idea or tip? Send it to the KSL NewsRadio team here.


The Instagram logo is seen on a cell phone in Boston, USA, Oct. 14, 2022....

KELVIN CHAN AP Business Writer

Instagram begins blurring nudity in messages to protect teens and fight sexual extortion

Instagram says it's deploying new tools to protect young people, including a feature that will automatically blur nudity in direct messages.

2 days ago

An image produced using optical microscopy shows Clostridium botulinum, an ingredient in Botox and ...

Deidre McPhillips, CNN

Counterfeit Botox injections linked to illness, hospitalization in two states

People in at least two states have been hospitalized with botulism-like illness after receiving counterfeit Botox.

3 days ago

Image of Lunchables. Consumer Reports has petitioned the USDA to remove school Lunchables from scho...

Parija Kavilanz and Sandee LaMotte, CNN

Consumer group wants Lunchables out of school lunch programs

Consumer Reports said their tests found the school cafeteria version of Lunchables has too much sodium.

3 days ago

Provo School year Plan...

Heather Peterson

Free annual health screenings will be offered to Provo City School District students

Free annual health screenings will soon be offered at elementary schools in the Provo City School District.

3 days ago

Former President Trump says abortion ban in Arizona goes too far....

Associated Press

Trump says Arizona’s abortion ban goes too far while defending the overturning of Roe v. Wade

Former President Trump said Arizona's abortion ban goes too far, but defended the overturning of Roe v. Wade.

3 days ago

people protest in arizona after abortions law roe v wade overturned by supreme court...


Most abortions banned in Arizona after state Supreme Court upholds 1864 law

It will be illegal to perform abortions in Arizona except when necessary to save the life of the mother. Abortion had been legal in Arizona up to 15 weeks of pregnancy.

4 days ago

Sponsored Articles


Live Nation Concerts

Artists coming to Utah First Credit Union Amphitheatre (formerly USANA Amp) this summer

Summer concerts are more than just entertainment; they’re a celebration of life, love, and connection.

Mother and cute toddler child in a little fancy wooden cottage, reading a book, drinking tea and en...

Visit Bear Lake

How to find the best winter lodging in Bear Lake, Utah

Winter lodging in Bear Lake can be more limited than in the summer, but with some careful planning you can easily book your next winter trip.

Happy family in winter clothing at the ski resort, winter time, watching at mountains in front of t...

Visit Bear Lake

Ski more for less: Affordable ski resorts near Bear Lake, Utah

Plan your perfect ski getaway in Bear Lake this winter, with pristine slopes, affordable tickets, and breathtaking scenery.

front of the Butch Cassidy museum with a man in a cowboy hat standing in the doorway...

Bear Lake Convention and Visitors Bureau

Looking Back: The History of Bear Lake

The history of Bear Lake is full of fascinating stories. At over 250,000 years old, the lake has seen generations of people visit its shores.

silhouette of a family looking over a lake with a bird in the top corner flying...

Bear Lake Convention and Visitors Bureau

8 Fun Activities To Do in Bear Lake Without Getting in the Water

Bear Lake offers plenty of activities for the whole family to enjoy without having to get in the water. Catch 8 of our favorite activities.

Wellsville Mountains in the spring with a pond in the foreground...

Wasatch Property Management

Advantages of Renting Over Owning a Home

Renting allows you to enjoy luxury amenities and low maintenance without the long-term commitment and responsibilities of owning a home.

Meet a male caregiver in Utah who is caring for his third parent