JEFF CAPLAN'S MINUTE OF NEWS

Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: The Paris Olympics might stink

Apr 25, 2024, 5:00 AM | Updated: 8:52 am

Visitors stand at the closed gates leading to the Eiffel Tower, Tuesday, Feb. 20, 2024 in Paris....

Visitors stand at the closed gates leading to the Eiffel Tower, Tuesday, Feb. 20, 2024 in Paris. Visitors to the Eiffel Tower were turned away for the second consecutive day because of a strike over poor financial management at one of the world's most-visited sites. (AP Photo/Michel Euler)

(AP Photo/Michel Euler)

Editor’s note: This is an editorial piece. An editorial, like a news article, is based on fact but also shares opinions. The opinions expressed here are solely those of the author and are not associated with our newsroom.

SALT LAKE CITY — The excitement is building toward the morning of Pioneer Day. While most of us are still asleep, Olympic officials in Paris are expected to announce that Salt Lake City has won the Winter Games for 2034. 

The announcement will be made in Paris because that’s where the Summer Games will begin two days later. So fasten your chapeau. Let’s go to Paris! Come on.

Okay, here we are in Paris, the city of lights, the city of romance. I’m wearing a beret to blend in. Here along the banks of the river Seine, over there, that’s the Eiffel Tower! But wait, we always talk about the beautiful banks of the Seine, but it’s just a river through the middle of the city with no riverbanks. Just concrete walls along the sides. And ew. It smells. And not like roses, so forget the romance. Paris has a sewage problem.  

Most of it generated by the two million residents ends up in the Seine, which will be used for long-distance swimming events in the Olympics.

Paris promised to clean it up but this spring, the bacteria level in the river is 20 times what’s allowed by sporting officials. Consider this, long-distance swimmers typically swallow an ounce of water an hour. It’d be like drinking out of a toilet bowl. Before the flush.

Paris could suffer a huge pink eye because the promise to clean up the river was unkept. Just a reminder as we wait for Utah’s Olympic Games that if you don’t get it right, your reputation can turn to… how do you say? Poop.

Jeff Caplan is the host of Jeff Caplan’s Afternoon News on KSL NewsRadio. Follow him on Facebook and X. 

Other Minutes of News:

We want to hear from you.

Have a story idea or tip? Send it to the KSL NewsRadio team here.

Jeff Caplan's Minute of News

A bee arrives at a hive on the roof of the Warren Rudman U.S. Court House, Friday, May 5, 2023, in ...

Jeff Caplan

Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: The New Honeybee Census

Is the honeybee still disappearing?

3 days ago

Why are button's on the right side for men, and on the left for women? It's complicated....

Jeff Caplan

Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: The buttons on your shirt

How come buttons on the right for men, and the left for women?  It’s complicated.

4 days ago

Monopoly... the raw exercise of capitalism... started as a game for liberals....

Jeff Caplan

Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: The real history of Monopoly

Did you know that Monopoly - this exercise in raw capitalism, began as a game for liberals?  

8 days ago

Some companies are utilizing the power of the nose to get their employees to come back to the offic...

Jeff Caplan

Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: Leading you back to the office by the nose

Catch a whiff of the way they’re trying to lure employees back to the office.

8 days ago

CAPTCHA tests...

Jeff Caplan

Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: It’s getting harder to prove you’re human

I don't know if you've noticed lately, but CAPTCHA tests are getting harder. 

8 days ago

Draft prospects stand on stage before the first round of the NFL football draft, Thursday, April 27...

Jeff Caplan

Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: The NFL’s deepest secret

Pro scouts spend months poking and prodding the best college players to decide who gets to make millions. If they're smart, they keep an eye on certain feature.

9 days ago

Sponsored Articles

a doctor putting her hand on the chest of her patient...

Intermountain Health

Intermountain nurse-midwives launch new gynecology access clinic

An access clinic launched by Intermountain nurse-midwives provides women with comprehensive gynecology care.

Young couple hugging while a realtor in a suit hands them keys in a new home...

Utah Association of Realtors

Buying a home this spring? Avoid these 5 costly pitfalls

By avoiding these pitfalls when buying a home this spring, you can ensure your investment will be long-lasting and secure.

a person dressed up as a nordic viking in a dragon boat resembling the bear lake monster...

Bear Lake Convention and Visitors Bureau

The Legend of the Bear Lake Monster

The Bear Lake monster has captivated people in the region for centuries, with tales that range from the believable to the bizarre.

...

Live Nation Concerts

All the artists coming to Utah First Credit Union Amphitheatre (formerly USANA Amp) this summer

Summer concerts are more than just entertainment; they’re a celebration of life, love, and connection.

Mother and cute toddler child in a little fancy wooden cottage, reading a book, drinking tea and en...

Visit Bear Lake

How to find the best winter lodging in Bear Lake, Utah

Winter lodging in Bear Lake can be more limited than in the summer, but with some careful planning you can easily book your next winter trip.

Happy family in winter clothing at the ski resort, winter time, watching at mountains in front of t...

Visit Bear Lake

Ski more for less: Affordable ski resorts near Bear Lake, Utah

Plan your perfect ski getaway in Bear Lake this winter, with pristine slopes, affordable tickets, and breathtaking scenery.

Jeff Caplan’s Minute of News: The Paris Olympics might stink